Parent guides › Is my child behind?
For parents · Ages 10–12Is my child behind?
ages 10 to 12
By eleven or twelve, the differences between kids can look huge. Some have grown, some have not, and a few have been training hard for years. It is easy to think a window is closing. It is not, but it helps to know what to look at.
Early growth is not the same as talent, and late growth is not the same as being behind.
Growth changes everything for a while
A child who shoots up can dominate for a season, or suddenly lose their coordination for a few months. A child who has not grown yet can look outmatched, even if they read the game better than anyone. Neither picture is permanent. If you judge kids at eleven on what you see this season, you will often be wrong.
What matters more than size
- A clean first touch.
- Looking around before the ball arrives.
- Choosing when to pass and when to keep it.
- Moving to help a teammate.
- Staying positive after a mistake.
Is it too late to start?
No. A child who starts at ten or eleven will have some catching up to do, especially with the ball, and they will feel it. But they often learn fast, and they bring what they learned in other sports. A rec team or a welcoming club is a good place to begin.
How to read what the coach tells you
Ask what your child should work on, and listen for specifics. “Check your shoulder more” is something they can use. “Be more aggressive” is harder. If the coach cannot give you anything specific, your child is probably not as far behind as you fear.
What to do about it
- Let them work on the things they can control.
- Protect sleep and food. Growing takes a lot.
- Find a team where they will play. Minutes teach more than a good team name.
- Let your child set their own goals. They will care more about those than yours.
Questions parents ask
My 11-year-old just started playing. Is it too late?
No. Find a team where they can play and enjoy it. Many kids who start at this age catch up on the basics quickly.
My child used to be the best and isn’t anymore. What happened?
Usually, other kids grew or caught up. It can sting. Help them focus on improving, and on what they enjoy about the game.
Should my child play up an age group?
Only if they will still play a lot and enjoy it. Sitting on the bench against older kids helps nobody.
What to say after a game ›My child wants to quit ›Rec or travel? ›What to expect at U11 ›What to expect at U12 ›Next: ages 12 to 14 ›