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For parents · Ages 12–14Is my child behind?
ages 12 to 14
Thirteen is one of the most misleading ages in youth soccer. Two players the same age can look years apart. Some who lead now will get caught, and some who struggle now will pass them. Here is how to keep it in perspective.
A thirteen-year-old’s team is not their future.
Why this age misleads
Growth spurts arrive at very different times. An early grower can be bigger, faster and stronger than a teammate who is the same age, and it can look like talent. It may be. It may also be timing. Coaches who know this look past size, and the best ones keep a place for the player who has not grown yet.
If your child is a late grower
This can be a hard stretch. They may feel pushed around and lose confidence. Remind them that it will not last, and that the habits they are building now, like thinking faster and using the ball well, will still be there when their body catches up.
The first year on the full pitch
Moving to 11v11 exposes everyone for a while. Passes fall short and legs get tired. A child who looks behind in the fall of U13 may simply be getting used to the field. Give it a season before drawing any conclusions.
What coaches tend to look for
- How well a player reads the game.
- How they react to mistakes.
- How hard they work without the ball.
- Whether they can take feedback.
- Whether teammates want to play with them.
If your child gets cut or moved down
It will hurt, and it is OK to say so. Give it a few days. Then help your child ask the coach what they need to work on. Being cut at thirteen is not the end of anything. Plenty of players go on to find the right team for them, and the setback can be what makes them work.
Questions parents ask
My child is small for their age. Should we move them down a team?
Not because of size alone. Ask whether they are playing and learning. A team where they get minutes is usually the right one.
Is it too late to get serious about soccer at 13?
No. It takes more work than it would have at eight, but a motivated player can improve a lot.
Should I ask the coach how my child compares with others?
Ask what your child needs to work on instead. It is a more useful question, and easier for a coach to answer honestly.
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