Parent guides › Wanting to quit
For parents · Ages 10–12My child wants to quit:
ages 10 to 12
Ten to twelve is when many kids rethink sports. Life gets busier, teams get more serious and other interests appear. If your child says they want to stop, it is a real conversation, not a phase to wait out.
It has to be their game. Listen as if the answer could be yes.
Common reasons at this age
- It stopped being fun.
- Too much pressure, from coaches, parents or themselves.
- School and other interests are taking up more of the week.
- Friends have left, or friendships on the team have changed.
- They feel self-conscious about how they are growing.
- They are not getting much playing time.
A bad month or something bigger?
Ask how long they have felt this way, and what a good week of soccer would look like. A child who had a bad month can usually describe what they miss. A child who is done often cannot think of anything. Give the conversation a few days, and come back to it more than once.
There is more than all or nothing
- Move from travel to rec.
- Take one season off.
- Play with a different team or coach.
- Try another position.
- Cut back to fewer days a week.
- Play another sport and keep soccer for fun.
Should you make them finish the season?
If you can, yes. Finish what you started, then decide. It is fair to the team, and it stops a big decision being made on a bad day. Be clear that the choice about next season really is theirs. If they think you have already decided, they will stop telling you the truth.
If they do stop
Let it be a good ending. Say you are proud of what they did. Keep them moving in some other way. Leave the door open without pushing on it, because kids do come back, and they are more likely to if leaving was not a fight.
What not to say
- “After everything we’ve spent.”
- “You’ll regret this.”
- “You just need to work harder.”
- “But you’re so talented.”
If something feels wrong
If your child tells you something happened that made them feel unsafe, that is a different conversation. Believe them, do not send them back, and talk to the club straight away.
Questions parents ask
Will my child regret quitting?
Maybe, and that is OK. They can usually come back. A child pushed to stay can end up resenting the sport, and that is harder to undo.
Should I push a talented child to keep going?
Support them, but do not push. Talent without their own desire rarely lasts.
What if they want to quit because of one teammate?
Take it seriously. Ask what is happening, and talk to the coach. It may be a problem the team needs to know about.
What to say after a game ›Is my child behind? ›Rec or travel? ›What to expect at U11 ›What to expect at U12 ›Next: ages 12 to 14 ›