For parents

When your child gets cut:
what to do

By Gabe Ramos · U.S. Soccer Coach Educator · Updated November 2026

Few things in youth sports hurt like this. Your child wanted it, and they did not get it. You may be just as upset as they are. Here is how to get through the first few days, and what to do next.

The one thing to remember

Let them be sad first. The plan can wait.

The first day

Do not try to fix it. Do not tell them it does not matter, because it does to them. Say you are sorry, you are proud of them for trying, and you know it hurts. Then give them space, along with a hug if they want one.

What to say

Try saying“I’m so sorry. I know how much you wanted that.”
“I’m proud of you for trying.”
“We don’t have to figure anything out today.”

What to skip

“They don’t know what they’re doing.”
“That coach just has favorites.”
“You’ll show them.”
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Comparing them with the kids who made it.

Your own feelings

It is normal to feel angry or embarrassed. Deal with that away from your child. They will take their cue from you. If you see it as a disaster, they will too. If you see it as a setback, they will start to as well.

Getting useful feedback

After a few days, encourage your child to ask the coach one question: “What do I need to work on?” If they are young, you can ask with them. Keep it short and polite. It is not the time to argue about the decision. You want something useful to work on.

What to do next

Ask about the team they were offered. Playing a lot there may be the best thing for them.
Look at other clubs if they want to.
Consider rec, where they can play and enjoy it.
Set one small goal for the next few months.

The bigger picture

Getting cut hurts, and plenty of players have been through it. It says nothing final about your child. Kids change fast, and teams change every year. What they learn from handling a setback will outlast the team they missed.

Questions parents ask

Should I call the coach to complain?

No. Give it a few days. If you want feedback, ask for it politely, and let your child do the asking if they are old enough.

My child wants to quit after being cut. What should I do?

Give it time. Do not decide in the first week. Our guide to quitting can help.

Should we try another club?

If your child wants to, yes. Look for a team where they will play.

Surviving tryouts ›Is my child behind? ›Should we switch clubs? ›

When your child gets cut:what to do