Parent guides › Wanting to quit
For parents · Ages 8–10My child wants to quit:
ages 8 to 10
At eight to ten, “I want to quit” usually has a reason behind it, and your child may not be able to say it right away. The field got bigger, the game got harder, and kids started keeping track of who is good. Here is how to find the real reason.
Find the reason before you answer.
What is often behind it
- Confidence. The jump to 7v7 can make a good player feel lost.
- A friend left the team.
- They got moved to a different team, or feel like the worst player.
- A coach who yells, or a teammate who does.
- Pressure from playing keeper.
- Too much on the schedule.
How to ask
Do not start this in the car after a loss. Wait for a calm moment, ideally while you are doing something else. Try “What’s one thing you would change about soccer?” It is easier to answer than “Why do you want to quit?” and it often gets you straight to the reason.
What you can change
Once you know the reason, there may be a simple fix. A word with the coach. A carpool with a friend. A break from playing keeper. One fewer activity in the week. Most kids at this age do not want to quit soccer so much as they want one thing about it to be different.
Rec or travel
If travel soccer has become too much, moving to a rec program is not failure. Plenty of kids are happier there, and some come back later. The goal at this age is still to keep them playing.
Should you make them finish the season?
Usually, yes. Their teammates count on them, and finishing something hard is worth learning. Tell them plainly that the decision about next season is a real one, and that you will listen. Kids can get through a lot when they know there is an end to it.
The exception is if something is wrong. If your child tells you something happened that made them feel unsafe, that is a different conversation. Believe them, do not send them back, and talk to the club straight away.
What to avoid
- “We paid for this.” Money is your worry, not theirs.
- “But you’re so good at it.” It is a compliment that feels like pressure.
- Making it about you. If you loved soccer as a kid, this one can sting.
Questions parents ask
My child says they are the worst on the team. Should I let them quit?
Not yet. Find out why they feel that way, and tell the coach. Remember that kids in the same age group can be almost a year apart.
How do I know if it is just a bad week?
Give it time. A bad week comes and goes. A child who dreads practice for a month is telling you something.
Should I talk to the coach?
Yes. A short, friendly chat often helps, and a good coach would want to know.
What to say after a game ›Is my child behind? ›Rec or travel? ›What to expect at U9 ›What to expect at U10 ›Next: ages 10 to 12 ›