Parent guides › Wanting to quit
For parents · U15 and olderMy child wants to quit:
the high school years
A high school player who wants to stop is nearly old enough to make the call alone, and they usually know it. Your job is to help them think it through, then back the decision.
Treat it as their decision, because it is.
Why older players stop
- Burnout after years of year-round soccer.
- An injury that changed how they feel about it.
- School, work or something else they care about more.
- Not making the team they wanted, or losing their place.
- They simply had enough, and that is allowed.
Burned out or done?
A burned-out player may still love the game and hate how it feels right now. Rest often helps. A player who is done usually feels relief at the idea of stopping, and that relief lasts. Ask them to take a real break before they decide, if the timing allows.
Questions that help
“What would you miss?”
“Is it the sport, or this team?”
“How do you want to finish?”
Finishing well
If they are in the middle of a season, encourage them to finish it if they can. If they are stopping, they should tell the coach in person, and thank them. It is hard, and doing it well is something they will be glad of later.
If plans were built around soccer
Some families have talked for years about playing in college. If your child no longer wants that, let the plan go. It was meant to serve them. Nobody should be playing a sport for four more years because of a conversation they had at twelve.
After they stop
It can feel strange and a little sad, even when it is the right choice. Part of their routine and their group of friends has gone. Encourage them to stay active and stay in touch with teammates. Pickup games, refereeing and coaching younger kids are all good ways to stay connected if they want to.
If something feels wrong
If your child tells you something happened that made them feel unsafe, that is a different conversation. Believe them, do not send them back, and talk to the club straight away.
Questions parents ask
Should I try to talk them out of it?
Share your view once, honestly, then respect the answer. They are close to making much bigger decisions on their own.
Will quitting hurt their college applications?
Colleges look at the whole student. Spending the time on something they care about is usually better than staying on a team they have given up on. Their school counselor can help.
What if they regret it next year?
They can usually find a way to play again, and that is a good lesson too.
What to say after a game ›Is my child behind? ›Rec or travel? ›What to expect at U15+ ›