Parent guides › After the game
For parents · U15 and olderWhat to say after a game:
the high school years
By high school your child has heard every post-game speech you have. They know how they played. What they need from you is something no coach can give: someone who is glad to see them whatever the result.
Be the one person who is not evaluating them.
Keep the ride home for anything else
Coaches, teammates and sometimes the whole school have an opinion about how your child played. Try to be the break from all that. Talk about food, the weekend, the dog. If they want to talk about the game, they know where you are.
What still helps
“What do you feel like eating?”
“That looked like a hard one.”
If they ask what you think
Give a short, honest answer, then stop. They asked for your view, not a report. If you are not sure what they want, ask: “Do you want my take, or were you just thinking out loud?”
When the stakes feel high
Tryouts, big rivalry games, the last season with friends. Your child may be carrying more pressure than they show. Avoid adding to it. Do not talk about who might be watching or what a result could mean for next year. Keep things at home as normal as you can.
After the last game
Some players will never play an organized game again after their final high school match, and it can hit harder than you expect, for them and for you. You do not need the right words. Be there, take the photo if they want one, and let them feel it.
Conversations with the coach
By now those belong to your child. If they are upset about their role, help them think through what to ask, then step back. They are close to handling much bigger conversations on their own.
Questions parents ask
Should I stop going to games now that they are older?
No, unless they ask. Being there still matters, even if you never talk about it.
My child seems really down after a loss. What should I do?
Give them room, and stay close. If a low mood lasts well beyond the game, or spreads into other parts of their life, talk with them about it and consider getting help.
Is it OK to celebrate a big win?
Of course. Enjoy it with them, and let them lead how big it gets.
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