Parent guides › Wanting to quit
For parents · Ages 5–8My child wants to quit:
ages 5 to 8
A five-year-old who says “I don’t want to go” is rarely making a life decision. At this age it usually means they are tired, nervous or would rather stay home and play. Before you decide anything, find out what is really going on.
At this age, “I want to quit” is rarely about soccer.
Why young children say it
- They are tired or hungry. Evening practice after a long school day is a lot.
- It is new. A new place, new kids and a new adult can be scary.
- They are bored. Lots of waiting in lines will do that.
- Something small happened: a push, a lost ball, a friend who was not there.
- They would rather be home with you.
What to do first
Ask when you are both relaxed, not on the way to practice. “What’s the best part of soccer? What’s the worst part?” is usually enough. Then go and watch. Is your child moving and playing, or standing in a line? A few minutes on the sideline will tell you a lot.
If something is not working, have a friendly word with the coach. Most youth coaches are glad to know.
Small things that help
- Arrive early, so they can get used to the place before the others come.
- Stay close for the first part of practice.
- Set a small goal: “Let’s just do the first game.”
- Bring a friend, or arrange a carpool.
- Have a snack before you leave home.
Should you make them finish the season?
At five or six, it is not worth a fight. Try one more week, and then another. If it is still tears every time, stop. Nothing is lost, and you can try again next year.
At seven or eight, it is reasonable to ask them to finish what they started, as long as nothing is wrong. Seasons at this age are short. Be kind about it, and promise you will talk about next season when this one ends.
When to stop
A child who is forced to play at five can learn to dislike soccer for a long time. If your child is unhappy week after week, let it go without making a big deal of it. Keep a ball around the house. Many kids come back on their own.
If something feels wrong
If your child tells you something happened that made them feel unsafe, that is a different conversation. Believe them, do not send them back, and talk to the club straight away.
Questions parents ask
Will my child fall behind if we take a year off?
No. At this age there is nothing to fall behind in. A happy child who comes back at seven is in a great spot.
Should I bribe my child to go to practice?
A snack or a trip to the park afterward is fine. If you are paying them to go every week, it is time to ask why they do not want to.
My child loves soccer at home but won’t join in at practice. Why?
That is common. It often has more to do with the group than the game. Give it time, and stay close at first.
What to say after a game ›Is my child behind? ›Rec or travel? ›What to expect at U6 ›What to expect at U7 ›What to expect at U8 ›Next: ages 8 to 10 ›