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For parent coachesWhen a child cries at practice:
what to do
Tears at practice are normal, especially with young players. They can still throw a new coach off. Here is how to help the child, keep the session going and handle it without any drama.
Stay calm and keep it small. Your reaction sets the tone.
First, check they are OK
Make sure they are not hurt. If they are, stop and deal with that first, and follow your league’s injury process. If they took a knock to the head, take it seriously and tell the parent. Once you know they are not injured, you can slow down.
Why children cry at practice
- They lost a game, or lost the ball.
- They got pushed or bumped.
- They felt embarrassed in front of the group.
- A friend would not play with them.
- They are simply tired or hungry.
What to say
“That was hard.”
“Come back whenever you’re ready.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
What not to say
- “Stop crying.”
- “You’re fine.”
- “Big kids don’t cry.”
- Anything in front of the group that makes it a bigger moment.
Keep the session going
Get the rest of the group moving again, and let your helper start the next game. A child who is the center of attention has a harder time recovering. Give them water or a small job, and let them come back when they are ready. Most will be playing within a few minutes.
Look at your games
If the same activity keeps causing tears, change it. Games where children get knocked out and stand around are the usual cause. Add a way back in, like ten toe taps and then rejoin, and only take that away once the group understands the game.
If it happens every week
Have a quiet word with the parent. Ask what is going on at home or at school, and whether anything at practice is bothering them. Often there is one small thing you can change.
Every practice, already written
You should not have to plan every session on your own. Each season curriculum gives you one page per session and an animated video of every activity. Read it in the car, set out your cones and coach.
Questions coaches ask
Should I call the parent over?
If they are nearby and the child wants them, yes. Otherwise a minute with you is often enough.
What if a child cries because they lost a game?
Say it is OK to be sad, and get them into the next game quickly. Losing stops feeling so big when there is another game coming.
How do I handle one child being mean to another?
Deal with it quietly and right away. Separate them, and talk to each child. Keep it calm.
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