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For parentsWhat to say from the sideline:
and what to leave out
Your child can hear you. So can their teammates, the coach and the referee. What you say on the sideline changes how the game feels for all of them. Here is how to be the parent kids are glad to have there.
Cheer for effort, cheer for everyone, and leave the instructions to the coach.
Why it matters
A child with the ball has about two seconds to decide what to do. A voice from the sideline takes that decision away. If you shout “shoot” and the coach has said “look up,” your child now has two adults to please and no time to think. Soccer is a game of decisions, and players only get better at making them by making them.
Good things to call out
“Great effort!”
“Way to go, team!”
“Good job, keep going!”
What to leave out
- Instructions: “Shoot!” “Pass!” “Spread out!” “Get back!”
- Anything to the referee.
- “Come on!” right after a mistake.
- Comments about other children, on either team.
- Talking about a player where other parents can hear.
Cheer for everyone
Cheer for your child’s teammates by name. Clap a good play by the other team too. It costs you nothing, and children notice which adults are kind. It also sets the tone for the parents standing next to you.
If you find it hard to stay quiet
- Stand further down the field, away from the other parents.
- Bring a coffee. It is hard to shout with a cup in your hands.
- Pick one thing to watch for, like your child’s effort after losing the ball.
- Remember that it is their game, not yours.
Ask your child
On a calm day, ask what they want from you during games. Some kids like to hear you. Plenty would rather you just watched. Whatever they say, try it. It tells them the game belongs to them.
Questions parents ask
Is it OK to call out my child’s name?
Yes, if it is praise. Keep it short, and do not make them look over.
What if other parents are rude on the sideline?
Do not get drawn in. If it is serious, tell the coach or a league official.
My child keeps looking at me during the game. What should I do?
Smile and give a small wave. Then look at the game. They are checking that you are OK with them, and that is all they need.
What to say after a game ›The rules, explained ›All parent guides ›