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For parents and coaches

The kid who won’t listen:
what to do

By Gabe Ramos · U.S. Soccer Coach Educator · Updated November 2026

Every coach has a child who runs off, talks over you or kicks a ball during the instructions. Before you look at the child, look at the session. Most of the time, that is where the fix is.

The one thing to remember

Most listening problems are really waiting problems.

Start with your session

  • Are you talking for more than a minute?
  • Are children standing in lines?
  • Is everyone holding a ball while you talk? Young children cannot leave it alone.
  • Is the activity too hard, or too easy?
  • Could you show it, not tell it?

Why some kids struggle

  • They are bored, or have too much energy after a long school day.
  • They want attention, and this gets it.
  • They did not understand what you asked.
  • Paying attention is simply harder for them.

What works in the moment

  • Use their name, quietly and kindly.
  • Stand near them when you explain.
  • Give them a job: demonstrate, count or set up the cones.
  • Catch them doing something right, and say so.
  • Keep the group moving. Do not stop everything for one child.

Have a quiet word

If it keeps happening, talk to the child away from the group. Keep it short and kind: “I need your help. When I’m talking, can you hold the ball for me?” Children will often work with an adult who treats them with respect.

Talk to the parent

Ask what works at home or at school. You are not reporting a problem. You are asking for help. Parents usually know a lot, and some will tell you about something like ADHD or autism that helps you understand. A few small changes can make a huge difference for a child.

Keep it in proportion

This is a youth soccer team, not a classroom. A six-year-old kicking a ball during your talk is usually just being six. If a child is safe, not hurting others’ fun and getting touches, you may be able to let more go than you think.

Questions parents and coaches ask

Should I send a child to sit out?

Only briefly, and only if safety or the group is affected. Sitting out takes away what they came for.

How long can kids this age listen?

Not long, especially the youngest. Keep instructions under a minute and get them playing.

What if a parent gets defensive?

Start with something good about their child, and ask what helps. You are on the same side.

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